Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
