i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
