So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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