my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
