and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
