you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
