I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
