Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
