Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
