Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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