dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
