PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
