I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize