Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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