im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
