is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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