I could have mohawked her pubes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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