I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
