better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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