His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
