Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
