I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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