i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
