Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
