Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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