You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize