Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
