We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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