So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
