Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
