I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
