i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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