In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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