do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
