He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
