It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
