im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
