Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
