went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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