Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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