How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
