his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
