she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The Olympian is in my bed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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