They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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