Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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