Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
