I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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