saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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