I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
