i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
