Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
