I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
