So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
