How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Randomize
