He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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