I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
