Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
