im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
